S2E10: Bart Gets Hit by a Car
Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Is that a broken neck? Great!
Alright, be real with me, would anyone be upset if I just reviewed the John Swartzwelder episodes? I could cover his books too, and his Pistol Pete pilot. We could wrap this whole thing up in like…two months tops.
Another idea, maybe for season three. What if I review one old episode and one new episode? Slowly working my way inwards? Would that make this more interesting to you, and more importantly, me?
Speaking of John, Bart Gets Hit by a Car is a John episode. It features some new, classic, and, as time will tell, timeless, John-characters in the ambulance-chasing, business-card-spouting, fake-degree having Lionel Hutz and the ambulance-driving, fake-degree having Dr Nick Riviera. It’s also the premier of Phil Hartman’s dulcet tones.
While the characters aren’t as gothic or as backwater as some of John’s best, they are classically American and therefore past the test.
The plot on the other hands is…good by Simpson’s standards, but bad (the paradigm has shifted) by John standards. It’s a pretty classic Homer and Bart have a scheme, while Marge and Lisa tutt.
Mr Burns hits Bart with a car. Lionel Hutz convinces Homer to get litigious. Everyone’s ethics (except Lionel & Dr Nick’s) are tested.
It’s kinda fun watching John flex his chops in a faux-Courtroom drama, but it’s nowhere near as fun as watching John flex his chops in order to get The Simpsons lost in the wild, or to get Marge protesting against cartoons through the very medium she is objecting too. It’s good, but not great.
Also, it seems like John is the only writer on the Simpsons who insists his characters appear in background scenes. During the trial, we see Jacque and Hermann sitting in the public gallery, and I’d warrant a guess Cowboy Bob was somewhere out there.
In the last act, Season One Homer pops his head up. In doing the right thing (not lying under oath) Marge loses the case, and the potential payout of one million dollars. Homer…sucks.
Setting: Moe’s Tavern.
MARGE: Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing. We've squabbled over money before. Never this much.
HOMER: You think this is about money? It's not. It's worse. I'm afraid that when I look at you... I won't see the wife by my side or the mother of my children. I'll see the dame who blew my one big chance.
MARGE: What are you saying?
HOMER: I'm saying--
HOMER’S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: She's your wife of 10 years, you've had 3 children. It's time to be honest.
HOMER: I'm not sure I love you anymore. Don't worry, I won't let on. I'll still do the bed stuff.Maybe it won't be so bad.
MARGE: Oh, my Lord! I don't want to wait to find out if you love me anymore. I think that you should look me in the eyes and find out. Homer, look at me!
HOMER’S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: Do it if it'll shut her up. Start with the feet. Still angry. This is tough, need refreshment. Trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. All right, look the wife straight in the eyes and tell her--
HOMER Who am I kidding? I love you more than ever!
MARGE: I love you too!
Classy Homer. Real classy.
Review 2/5
Chalkboard Gag: I will not sell school property
Couch Gag: Homer pushes everyone off the couch.